FISTING ADVISE FOR THE FIRST TIMERS!
We’ve received a few emails from blog readers asking what they need to consider when they fist take a fist for the first time. The first time taking a fist can be a pure sexual experience but for many it can also be not only an intense emotional experience but also a very physical experience too. Here are some of our tips for fisting for the first timers:
ADVISE FOR TOPS:
If you are a first time fisting top playing with an experienced fisting bottom, then the key is to listen carefully to all the verbal directions and signals given to you by the bottom. A good fisting bottom will communicate how he wants you to play with his hole – it may be simple gestures or signals or anything from “take it slow” to “wreck my fucking hole,” but the key is always to listen and follow directions. If you are unsure about what to do then ask your bottom for directions. Always remembering that the “Bottom” and NOT you, are the one who is in control and teaching you.
The more you play with a regular partner the more you get to know how they enjoy their ass worked over and played with. Regular play builds a stronger connection and as play develops can be more relaxed and more and more intense, as the trust between top and bottom builds.
ADVISE FOR BOTTOMS:
If you are a first time fisting bottom playing with an experienced fisting top (and hopefully he is a considerate fisting top), then you are most likely in good hands. A good top will communicate clearly with you and also prompt you to communicate, guiding you as you go. He will also respond appropriately to your verbal directions and the body language that you give off, making the experience easier and more pleasurable. He will take his time and be considerate and only go at the pace and speed that that pleasures his bottom.
START OUT WISELY:
It is probably rare for someone to go from fucking to taking a fist straight away as the manhole is something that has to be gently teased and learned to handle wider and bigger elements. Most guys will stretch their hole with dildo play and large toys as they build up to the width of a fist. To best prepare, a bottom will ideally have played with a multitude of varying lengths and widths of dildos to train their hole to relax enough to take a fist.
The best way to open your hole is by regular play (both with dildos, toys or a helping hand), and regularly increasing your overall limits. Some recommend a small (and we mean small) amount of mint toothpaste with baking soda, can also help to open your hole. Simpy place a small amount on the end of a dildo, add your favorite lube, then insert into your hole. Your hole will get warm and tingly, then your ass will start to relax, and your ass will get really hungry for action. For many others, numbing your hole using lube with clove oil is the best form of help. Your hole will eventually open more and strength with practice!
Besides training your hole for width and depth of a fist, you should also train and prepare mentally for fisting. To train your brain for fisting, you should gradually increase the length of time you play with your ass and your hole, which will inevitably result in longer and longer play sessions. You can also increase the length of time you have a dildo or toy inside you, which will create the same effect. Quite often when you play, you get to a point when you feel the need to take the dildo out. Instead keep the dildo inside you and try to go longer. Another way is to increase the length of time between snorts of poppers, if that’s what helps you get off. Typically most “Fisting Bottoms” swear by using poppers as a way to help them relax and enjoy a more intense sensation and joy of fisting. When you get to playing with a fist, you will find you should be able to take a fist for longer periods of time, especially if you avoid playing with your cock too much, to prolong the whole ass play fisting experience and to avoid cumming too soon.
BASIC FISTING TIPS AND ADVISE:
Don’t Make it a Goal to Take a Fist the First Time You Play
Don’t make the object of the night to take a fist. It could well happen the first time trying, however, it is more likely to take a couple of play sessions before the bottoms hole relaxes enough to take a fist. Remember Tops there is no rush, take the time to stretch and slowly work the bottoms hole with your fingers and dildos rather that pushing a fist in straight away. It is actually much better for the bottom if you do take your time, and play a little with his ass first so his hole relaxes properly before adventuring further.
Pre-Play
Ambiance / Play Space – is very important so ensure you create an environment where the bottom feels most comfortable and relaxed. Many bottoms prefer the comfort of being fisted while in a sling, while others prefer being fisted on their back or on all-fours in the comfort of the bedroom with pillows and sex play sheets to avoid any mess and so you can both get really piggy. Whatever place you prefer, it is usually best to remove distractions, by having the lights low, curtains drawn, and ambient music on low in the background. Simply set up the play space in a way that makes the bottom most comfortable.
Set-up / beforehand – Make sure you have all the things you both need on hand, such as: Lube (J-lube, J-Jelly or Crisco), paper towels, poppers, gloves, dildos, drinks, camera, …….basically whatever you think you might need etc.
TOPS – ALWAYS make sure your nails are cut short and filed smooth and your hands are thoroughly clean.
BOTTOMS – ALWAYS make sure you have thoroughly cleaned-out. Whether you prefer using a small personal douche or shower bidet, be sure you hose and wash and clean out your hole so it is clear of any possible debris and clean and ready for an uninterrupted play session.
To begin with START Slowly
Never go straight to a lubed up fist without at least some warm-up for the bottom. Really take your time to open the bottoms hole. Rimming, fingering, and fucking are good starters, then move on to the bottoms favorite dildos that the bottom has played with before. It may also help to run one, two, or three fingers around the inside circumference of his hole (in a circular type action), stretching and massaging his hole to stretch and relax. When ready, you can then start working your fist slowly into his hole.
Taking a Fist
Be very aware that when a guy takes a fist for the first time the response can be incredibly intense. It’s all about building trust between top and bottom so the experience is enjoyable. Some guys may spontaneously cum as soon as the fist slips in, which often happens. Another response is to experience a full body orgasm that last for a few minutes each time, kinda like an out-of-body experience for some. Or even multiple full body orgasms as the play progresses. It is different for everyone. What ever the response, allow the bottom to experience all the sensations without forcing your fist onto him, as it could well ruin the moment if forced. Depending on how the bottom feels, he may well want to stop after this and take a break or stop all together as his body adjusts and takes in these new emotions and feelings. Taking a fist is a totally new sensation and can be intense the first time, the bottom may tell you to fist him for short periods then stop, or he may just say: “Don’t stop!”. As a top, whatever the bottom says, the key is to listen and be aware of your bottom’s reactions and allow them to occur, and respond in a very considerate and mindful manner.
Following the First Fisting Session
Once you have taken a fist, and have allowed 3-4 days to recover, the next time you play as a bottom, you will be able to take a fist a little easier, as you hole has a memory of its own and will remember, however, it is always wise to follow the steps above until you get acquainted and experienced at knowing your own play preferences.
TROUBLESHOOTING:
Can’t Seem to Take a Fist – Some guys, even after doing all of the above, reach a boundary which seems impossible to breach. Guys often comment that their ass is too small, or their bone structure is too narrow to take a fist. Even after numerous tries with the same or different tops, or with different sized fists, they still can’t seem to take a fist. Let us advise you, we know it is not a physical barrier but rather a mental barrier. It requires you to move past the perceived physical barrier, but it is that last mental push past the sensations you are experiencing that is required. For some this is the hardest barrier to cross. Maybe you are not practicing enough or following the advise above, but once you do, you will be taking a fist time and again.
Seeing Red – A little pink in the lube is usually okay, however, if you start seeing any dark red blood then it’s a good time to stop the play session. It is recommend to then clean out with cold water to stop any bleeding that might be occurring.
Going Deep – Something that should be left to the experienced of experts. Deep fisting requires an experienced top and/or bottom. As a newbie, always keep to wrist deep fisting until you build a lot more experience and have had a lot more training. This sometimes takes years to achieve, to go deep.
Comments and Advise
As a bottom, experience relaxing your hole and relaxing your mind, do more of what feels good, and communicate with your play partner. The key is communication and listening to one another.
As a top, listen to your bottom’s verbal cues and especially his body language, and respond in a mindful and considerate way and it will be a special experience for both of you. Remember he is the one in control NOT you. If you remember that, then your play sessions will be longer, better, and more incredible!
Helpful Instructional Video to help both TOPs and BOTTOMS the Ancient Art of Handball Fisting:
CLICK HERE – To watch FISTING 101 Video Online
CLICK HERE – To Purchase the FISTING 101 DVD
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